In a dramatic turn of events it was announced today that future Olympic medallist Ben Snowball had qualified for the BUCS Outdoor Athletics Championships at the Olympic Stadium.
Despite being in the jogging wilderness for the past four years, he scraped through the qualifying procedure and will now feature in the Olympic test event over the 3000m steeplechase.
Bookies are already taking bets on what lap Snowball drowns following an unsuccessful water jump, and BUCS have promised that a lifeguard will be on duty for when the inevitable splash occurs.
The last time he graced the track he infamously tore his shoulder muscle when dipping for the line in a closely contested 4x100m relay, and spectators – keen to cash on an easy £250 from the kind people at You’ve Been Framed – will no doubt have their cameras poised to capture his nightmare.
Holding a mock press conference in the shower Snowball said: “I have no idea how the selectors let me slip through the system. It’s a great stage for me to throw my name into the ring for Sports Personality of the Year 2012, so I’ll be going all out not to come last.”
Sebastian Coe – who is thought to have influenced the selection policy – was delighted at the news. “Although I’ve never heard of Ben, nor do I understand why he is the topic of discussion, I guess you can only be happy for the kid.”
Snowball dismissed the notion that him and Coe weren’t good mates citing that they had once shared a tube carriage at the end of last year. This was later confirmed by CCTV footage at Oxford Circus.
We wish him the very best of luck on his quest to glory.