Turning Potential Into Ability

Or not in my case...

Friday, 22 April 2011

Return Rumours

The pen was cast aside. It was too late, however, for it had already made its potent black mark upon the calender. 11th August 2012 was labelled: '18:45 - 5000m Men's Olympic Final. Get fit for it.'

Fresh from fending off family competition to locate a Cadbury's Creme Egg hidden in his Grandparent's garden earlier on Good Friday, Snowball returned home with a new lease of life. Logging online to the 2012 website, he booked three tickets to the Olympic stadium for this great spectacle so his family and friends could share in his defining moments.

Stories emerging from his camp suggested that he had already handpicked the four safety pins he would entrust to keep his number on in the final, as well as having backups should the track judge see fit to impose a back number also. The testing procedure to find the ultimate pin allegedly involved 'accidentally' drawing blood from unsuspecting friends to find just the right mix of sharpness and protection.

With rumours that GB already consider themselves out of Snowball's league it is no surprise that their neighbours have expressed an interest - who he qualifies for under Rule 89.b)... 'An athlete who is given permission to wear the famous green vest may, from that day forward, be considered for selection.'

Speaking at his annual Easter press conference Snowball said, 'Yes it is true. The Ireland selectors have already contacted me about filling their long-distance vacancy, but I'm holding out for a more lucrative offer from Team GB.'

He went on to say, 'I recently went out for a run that lasted two songs.'

It was later revealed that these songs were both over three minutes in length, although his spokesman laughed at the notion that their combined total was anything in excess of eight minutes forty seconds saying, 'Let's just take it a day at a time.'

With calls for Snowball to reduce the diameter of his gluteus maximus (massive bum), and stop measuring runs in terms of music, it is evident he has a lot of work to do between now and the top step of the Olympic rostrum...

His recent workout, where he managed sixty pillow presses and eighteen mattress bounces, is a step on the right path. It appears he's finally making an impact in a sport he refuses to reject, but one that keeps rejecting him.

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