Snowball Injured in Dip Farce

The nation came to a standstill on Wednesday 8th May when Ben Snowball was rushed to a paramedics van after dipping for the line in a 100m relay.

Chasing down 2004 Olympic gold medallist Mark Lewis-Francis, Snowball clocked a split of 9.98 seconds before his legs went from underneath him when leaning for the line – sending him hurtling face first towards the red turf.

Reports spread across Britain like wildfire that serious damage had been done to the Olympic hopeful’s shoulder, and these were later confirmed as he emerged from Loughborough stadium covered in bandages.

The injuries sustained were so critical that he had to withdraw from the notorious chunder mile, an event in which he had hoped to combine his talents of drinking and… no, just a chance for his drinking talents to be recognised.

Photos have since surfaced of him wearing a sling for support, and a spokesman for the athlete announced, ‘He can’t shower for two weeks.

‘He is very disappointed that his fall didn’t receive more coverage after a Canadian official twice fell spectacularly to steal the limelight at the recent Montreal Grand Prix.’

A minute’s applause was ordered by the Queen to mark the event and highlight the bravery shown by the affected party.

Her majesty, addressing the country behind a veil and putting on a deep voice, said: ‘Ben has long been one of my favourite athletes. If I had to pick an Olympic team now, he would be in it.’

It has also been confirmed that Snowball is a doubt for the Copa Del Boxgrove, Guildford’s finest two-aside garden football event, with a ‘super miracle’ required for him to line up in the July event.

With the 2012 Olympics still firmly in his sights, the 21-year-old has targeted next years BUCS – scheduled at the Olympic stadium – as ideal preparation after he was accepted into Sheffield University for a masters.

The stage is set for the greatest sporting comeback since Camp Nou ’99. We will follow his every move…



Missed the fall? See it here at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4sZ_VC-tfA&feature=BFa&list=FLhSs5o8dLQqw&index=2